Self, how did I get here?

Sometimes I just have to wonder where it all went wrong, and then where it all went right again.

There is definitely a chain of events in our lives. One stupid act somehow begets something worthwhile, and it is shocking to think that it really does all work out in the end. Everyone has done something stupid. A few of us have done something monumentally stupid. As in 'ruining your freaking life' stupid. And still, it worked out for me. Sort of. I think.

Remember when you were a young man and you were deeply, incredibly, and somewhat tragically in love with that special girl? Remember the heart sickness and the devastation? Is it coming back? Now ask yourself where you would be if it hadn't happened. Would you be a stronger man for it, or would it have mattered at all? These are the late-night-wolf-prowling-mind-won't-stop kind of thoughts. They usually hit you late at night when you are travelling or drinking (preferable both) and have too much time on your hands. I used to have them quite a lot. I try to avoid them now. Frankly, they take too much energy, and they never made me happy anyway. In fact, it might just drive you crazy if you let it.

So here is the good news. There is a really simple way to avoid all the crazy thoughts. Are you ready? Repeat after me:

'Everything happens for a reason."

That's it. Everything happens for a reason. I suppose you could add that you won't know how it will work out until it actually does. Sorry, no peeking into the future.

A long time ago, my dad advised me to always act brave. Even if you are not brave, just pretend to be.. no one can tell the difference. He was right. And it is the same with this. Even if you don't believe that everything happens for a reason, just pretend to believe it. You'll feel better.

For me, I'm too far gone to worry about my colossal fuck-ups from a decade ago. I've got too much other stuff distracting me.. wife, two small children, stressful work, mortgage under water. But rather than let all the problems weigh me down, I do my best to remember to enjoy the ride. Because, hey.. everything happens for a reason.

Shine on, brother.